'protecting your peace' is dead
i think we've reached the precipice where equipping the general public with 'therapy speak' has done more harm than good.
On trial today; “protecting your peace.”
As all of these terms go, at the outset, this is well-intentioned, sage advice to keep your wits in a world rife with never ending deadlines, birthday parties, bills and miscellaneous obligations. We can’t possibly care about everything all the time, or we leave no room for our own sanity. But again, in the same fashion as all the other pop psychology terms, in practice it has quickly lost all of its nuance, and is instead validating people in their selfish isolation, even convincing them it’s the end-stage of ‘healing.’
People have misinterpreted the entire meaning behind the idea. The goal is not to eliminate all possible disturbances to your ‘peace’ so that you can live in calm isolation, but to harbor an inner peace that grounds you through disrupting situations. Sometimes, this does mean walking away from a predicament, but that is absolutely not the default position. Your peace should guide you through problems, not away from them.
‘Protecting your peace,’ has become an excuse to coast through life without having to confront any of the challenges or commitments you don’t feel called to, and that’s a pacifying way to live. Our peace is important, but so are difficult conversations that we might not want to have. Our peace is important, but it is okay to miss out on eight hours of sleep because our friend needs someone to talk to. Our peace is important, but sacrificing it momentarily for the people we love, so we can get deep into their chaos with them and sort out the mess, is one of the most beautiful parts of human connection that I don’t think anyone should miss out on.
There’s a difference between ‘protecting your peace,’ and ‘neglecting your loved ones.’ We all have to find the balance between enriching ourselves and reaching out to connect and enrich with the world around us. Quite honestly, the greatest moments of healing I’ve ever found was when I was reaching out to support others. It might be selfish, even, but it’s a reminder of your own agency, your ability to transform.
And transform we can. The world around us is an increasingly terrifying reminder of humanity’s ability to effect change, for better or for worse. If you genuinely believe all of your energy should be spent protecting yourself, that’s your prerogative, but don’t expect me not to comment on the smell of the rotting soul you keep forgetting to nourish with the warmth of other people.
Your peace is sacred, but so are your relationships. We were never meant to be self-sustaining creatures. The reason we survived was our ability to collaborate and advance with each other. The reason you live in a society with plumbing, paved roads, traffic rules that (almost) everyone follows, and established industries that give individuals the opportunity to learn, join and advance within them, are all happy consequences of a shared peace, not a conglomerate of billions of individual ones.
And in a world sliding into far-right fascism while being forced into complicity with the Palestinian genocide as the cost of living increases and the Supreme Court upends democracy in the backdrop of an impending worldwide season of climate disaster (large intake of air), if your peace doesn’t feel shaken, you’re practicing delusion, not self-awareness.
If we are going to survive the next season of life, it is not going to be sitting in our rooms, listening to self-preservation podcasts and repeating self-important mantras of ‘I don’t owe anyone anything.’
I beg you, abandon your ‘peace,’ and protect your community.
well said !